LAUREN MILLER, PA-C

That's right folks...I PASSED PANCE (boards)! I cannot express how happy I am or the satisfaction that comes with it. I am so thankful for your many thoughts and prayers, I definitely felt them. THANK YOU! #Blessed.

PA SCHOOL: CHECK!

And here's some of the proof...

Our awesome research group!
Melanie, Me, Holly (our mentor), Lindsay, Bailey, and Heather

Here we are at the PA banquet, well, minus Heather and with Rachel...I told you, it's like herding cats to get us all in the same place at once!

Me with Holly. I owe her SO much! She's been a professor, a mentor, a leader, a friend, and a reality check when I needed it. THANK YOU!

Me with the Hubs! <3 Couldn't have done this without his support.

"Incentive to study" flowers from the Hubs :)

Ok, I had to throw these guys in here! First, because they are troopers and put with PA school too. But also because they are just the cutest fuzzy kids I've ever seen...but I may be a bit biased.

Of course there will be more adventure! There is always more adventure :)

IT'S HAMMER TIME!

All right, I need you! Boards are on Saturday. In less than 48 hours, I will have completed what is essentially the most important test of my life. I need your prayers, your happy thoughts, your rain dances, your good JuJu...whatever it is you do, please send it my way! I would love to be able to tell you when I leave the testing center how it went, but apparently they think it's entertaining to see us suffer until they decide to release scores. It will likely be a few weeks before I know anything, and don't worry, you will for sure know if I passed! Everyone who sees me that day (and probably a few days following...) will be informed. Whether they know me or not. Quite frankly, whether they care or not :) LET'S DO THIS! Ok, confession time...I am actually kind-of excited about the test (and NO...I am not intoxicated or drugged up! I may have lost my marbles, but that's nothing new). I mean, this is what I've been working towards for how many years, right? Once I get this out of the way, I can finally do what God has been preparing me to do. I can share my joy, my passion, my knowledge, my gift. And that makes me very happy. It makes me smile knowing it's all so close and it makes me proud to look back and see what all I've accomplished to get here. I am so excited to find out how He will use me in the months and years to come, and passing this test is the beginning of it all. See? Now who couldn't help but be a little excited? Confession #2...I'm also super excited about having time to finally clean out and organize our giant storage unit that is packed to the gills. That thing has my OCD all kinds of messed up. Ok, that's enough confession time for now. Well, one more...confession #3...I think I've had too much Red Bull. :)

790 DAYS

Yup, I spent 790 days being a student at UTMB. Granted, my adventure started before that with my application and interview. Remember how I didn't even wear a suit like everyone else? I threw on slacks and a sweater, and pulled my hair back because it was frizzy and awful. I fussed about having to drive through Houston, fussed about the humidity and rain, and said that UTMB was probably not going to be my first pick. Well, God had a little something else in mind. How about "quit your whining, see that this school is great for you, and take this opportunity...and TRUST me." So I did. I got the email a day or two after my interview, and hit the ceiling with excitement because I was actually being given this amazing opportunity. My dreams very well could have been squashed at that moment because little did I know, I wasn't going to get into any of the other schools I applied to. It was a huge leap of faith for me and Ryan to uproot yet again and move off for my school. No jobs, no friends, absolutely nothing secure or familiar at all. Everything we knew about our lives would change...except 2 things: our little family is just the way it was when we left, though maybe a little brattier; and I still have my little tank of a car. You realize I've had that car longer than I've had Ryan, right? :) They are both troopers.
So you can go back and read my posts for the details, but here's the summary: we moved in classic "Lauren" fashion with a little chaos on the side. I dove in head first...and was quickly overwhelmed. We made new friends, Ryan got a new job. I got more overwhelmed. This was the first time I've relied on financial aid, so more unfamiliar territory and less control...and I was more overwhelmed. Andrew and Kelly got married, Layla visited. I was still overwhelmed, but a little blissfully happy. I saw my first "real" patients, and that reminded me why I was here, and I really felt happy again...until I went back to class and got overwhelmed again. With a whole lot less sleep, I managed to survive the first semester. Then, Grandma Hill passed away after her grueling battle with breast cancer. My break and Christmas kinda sucked. But even at wit's end, she managed to do me a favor. She waited for me, waited until I got there so I could hold her hand and tell her how much I loved her one more time. My last final was on Friday, we drove up over the weekend, and she passed on Tuesday. I know she's up in heaven dancing, cooking, and probably telling God and all the other angels what to do. She always laughed so hard at my craziness, my obscurities, my chaos...so I can't help but smile and laugh when I get myself into shennanigans.
We'd better move on...second semester was a little better. I got a new computer! I got it after I passed first semester, almost as a reward. Yall remember my Fujitsu laptop, the one that I'd had for about 6 years! When the battery life was 20 minutes and you had to hold the charger in just the right place for it to work, it was time to get something a little more conducive to PA school. So I caved and 1-spent the money on a new laptop, and 2-joined the Apple/Mac world. And I admit, this thing has been pretty awesome! The work load of second semester was different and not as difficult in some ways, but still very challenging. Ryan got another new job because the other one sucked. I started coming back around to the real world. Great Syndromes (a class) in late spring was...interesting. I only had class a day or two each week, and the meetings really weren't all too bad. But the Exam was plain awful! The class and meetings are with med students, so the exam is more their style than ours. I wasn't expecting that! I had just studied the wrong way, I guess. I still fared better than some others and I came out unscathed, so I count my blessings and move on! So from start in August 2010 til now (April 2011-ish) was 8 or 9 months.
Now, it's time to shift gears...thank goodness! Now, we start to prepare for clinicals and start our research projects. Do that for about a month, then head out for a year of clinical rotations! New clinic/preceptor/specialty every 4 weeks and either a paper, presentation or a test for each month. I've been everywhere from Texas City to Houston to Anahuac, then to Dallas and Nacogdoches. I've been in clinic, ER, and surgery. Specialties from primary care and pediatrics to orthopedic oncology surgery then to delivering babies in OBGYN. We moved out of our apartment and into a house with roommates, and Ryan got yet another job...in DFW! Yes! The shift back home has begun! We tried to expand our family with a little orange puff of a kitten named Cheeto, but he passed away after 11 days which was just wretched on our whole family. My favorite picture of him is still where all one-pound of him is set upright on his hind legs with arms spread wide, about to pounce Maverick, the 100-pound guard dog. That little guy had so much personality and spunk, but was also still such a lovebug. I haven't heard a purr like that since Tig was a kitten. And more tears... Ok, then we had Thanksgiving at the house which was a first for me! Ryan and I visited San Francisco in December and it was awesome! Christmas was better this year. I entered the last half of rotations, then my Grandma Baileys passed away. She had been living in a nursing home due to her dementia, but was otherwise pretty healthy, especially for 86 years old. It was still pretty unexpected and sudden. It's somewhat ironic that my next day on rotations after her funeral, I was delivering babies. Full circle kinda. But all the emotion just catches up with you, and I can't help but cry every time I do a delivery. Not quite sobbing, I've moved past that, but just a tear or two. OBGYN, pediatrics...and DONE. Yes, didactic year and clinical year are now complete and we are in June 2012. We work on our research projects, and being to study like madmen for boards in November (medical boards, the single exam that gives us our certifications to practice or not...PANIC mode).
Research project poster presentations were yesterday, and I am officially Lauren Miller, MPAS. There have been some serious ups and downs, great friends made, and many lessons learned. In particular, I learned that I am stronger and more flexible than I ever thought. We have all grown and have been prepared to be AWESOME clinicians :)
Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support. Thanks to my husband for enduring this with me and standing by my side. Thanks to UTMB for taking a chance on me and for the hard work it took to get me here today. And most importantly, thank you God for the opportunity and the journey. I am truly blessed!
But hey, it's not over yet! Boards are still in November, then there's that whole J-O-B thing. Plus, I ate at Pei Wei the other day, and my fortune cookie said I had yet another adventure in store...are you ready?!

THE HOME STRETCH

Less than a month until PANCE...EEK! Yup, the past 2+ (well, really 26) years of my life are about to be summed up in one 6-hour test. On that note, I will be hibernating/studying until November. Leave a pop-tart and some chocolate milk outside the door for me. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers (and Ryan...poor guy...). See ya then!

Oh ya, HAPPY PA WEEK! Go find a PA and tell them how awesome they are :)

WHAT NOW?

Ok, I know I still have these 2 classes to finish and boards to take, but I'm already starting to think about what to do after the dust settles and I land a job. I've been working day in and day out for the past 2 years, if it all suddenly stops after boards/before work...I'll go nutty! Here's what has made the short list: cooking, running, and horses.
I have been compiling a cook book as I try new recipes. If you have awesome recipes and are willing to share, please send them my way! Yall know I'm domestically challenged, so I'm doing my best here. On that note, none of the recipes are terribly difficult, so it's been totally practical. It's been kinda fun...some days, it's also been really bad some days! lol If it picks up steam, I'll try to get them posted...hey, new blog idea!
And running. You know I love to run and always have. I'm thinking about stepping it up a notch and to start competing. Starting small with 5K and 10K races, maybe one or two a month, maybe each one to raise awareness for a different organization (i.e. American Cancer Society, Diabetes Foundation, Leukemia Lymphoma Society, etc.). I'm not sure I care to be a marathoner or do triathlons, but we'll see.
Horses...what?! Yes. I took lessons and had horses when I was little. My sister and I used to ride. I've always wanted to get back into it, and Layla has been a huge help. I'm considering getting into the equestrian world and trying out this jumping or cross country business. But first, we need a house with room to keep the horses, and I need a job so I can pay for the horses! Ryan has also expressed interest in riding, but I don't think he cares to compete. He would want to do trail riding-type stuff and camping. But he did mention doing some volunteer mounted patrol work, and that seems interesting!
So that's that...any other ideas?

(PSEUDO)GRADUATION!

Well believe it or not, graduation day is actually here! Interviews were back in February 2010, and it has been a whirl wind since. I'm so glad I was led to this school and to this program; and I'm glad I/we had the faith to go for it! It wasn't easy uprooting (again), leaving a job I loved, asking Ryan to move, etc...not to mention the extreme workload and chaotic rotations. But looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way :) I cannot thank you enough to everyone that supported us along the way...your support means the world to us!

Now, you may ask why the title has the word "pseudo" in it. With good reason. Pseudo technically means false, and that is about accurate for our graduation. Yes, we invited friends and family, donned the cap and gown, etc and walked across the stage, but we haven't actually finished classes. We have 2 classes through October (a board review type class, and a class to wrap up Master's projects), then our official diplomas will be awarded in December. Odd, yes. I'm fully aware. And I should probably leave it at that before we get going on another soap box moment.

And on that note...PICTURES!!!

Me with chairman Dr Rahr. I love this photo because it reminds me that I've come full circle...he interviewed me back in 2010. Thanks for taking a chance on me!

 The gang (minus Melanie): Rachel, Heather, Me, Lindsay, and Bailey

 The Baileys Clan!

 The Hubs <3

 The Miller Clan!

 We tracked down Melanie!

 Me with Lindsay at dinner

 Look, I'm graduating with my Master's degree!

 This is as rowdy as we get...balloons.

 Hey, aren't we official!?

 Mel!

 This is what happens when they give us hoods (i.e...capes!)

 And yet another way to accessorize...

 Me with Julie, our class President (And she's from Wisco!) She has done a fabulous job.

 The Other Miller! Me and Ansley...we make Miller look GOOD! lol

 We found Melanie, but lost Heather... It's like herding cats around here...

VEGAS BABY!

In celebration of graduation, we snuck off to Vegas for a few days! Oh yeah, Ryan had a PGA conference there, too. I know what you're thinking, but we were well behaved! Yes, we had fun, but not "too much." And the best part, Tim and Layla joined us! We helped Layla celebrate her 34th birthday.
Monday: We traveled, warmed up the slot machines, then had drinks at Senor Frogs while we watched the Treasure Island show. Our bartender was awesome and we got to know the manager, too.
Tuesday: shopping up and down the strip all day, exploring the different hotels, some sparse slot-playing (but Ryan did find a niche with a certain Ghostbuster's slot machine...), then drinks at Margaritaville to celebrate Layla's birthday!!
Wednesday: Lunch with Emeril Lagasse, dinner with Gordon Ramsay. Vegas is delicious! There was also a trip to the shops at Caesar's :) Riddle for you, when does it rain in the desert? Answer: when Ryan and Lauren go to the desert. They got 1-2 inches, and you'd have thought it was a hurricane. There was awful flooding everywhere! It was a mess to say the least. And it definitely killed our day at the pool, but oh well. That evening, we saw a Cirque du Soleil show...our first. It was amazing! So cool! Definitely worth the price. We actually got first row tickets...it was just awesome. Ryan even got drug into the show!
Thursday: I found the roulette table. I did not want to leave the roulette table-the roulette table liked me too! But it was time to come home...back to reality and the fuzzy circus :)
It was a blast, but it was good to come home! Thanks, Tim and Layla for joining us!

Here we are, getting ready to head out! I hadn't thought about it, but I realize now that I was wearing beer tshirt! At least it was about appropriate.

 Dinner at Gordon Ramsay's...it was delicious! Very good, but not sure I'd go back. It's just one of those "say I did it" things for me, I guess. The service was absolutely impeccable!

 Layla and I getting a little handsy with Tim's chair. Waiting on him to realize what was going on...

 Ryan got to meet Hank Haney at his PGA convention! Probably his highlight of the trip.

 Layla's birthday balloon hat from the stilt-walking guys at Margaritaville...you have to admit, that's awesome!

PICTURES

Oh my, if this isn't mischief at it's finest...

I don't even know what to say about this...my six year-old little sister is flirting, and has him wrapped around her little finger already!

Me and Ryan at one of my birthday dinners

 Seeeesters! At Alex and Vic's baby shower

Alex and Victoria at the baby shower. Aren't they the cutest?!

Me and my cuz :)

This is the apartment that was on fire that I mentioned in my previous post

Aimee on our day-o-fun! Isn't she just precious? And looks innocent, huh? Love her and that toothless smile...shenanigans and all.

BUSY

Ok, here goes a soap-box moment. If you don't like my soap-box moments, go on and scroll ahead. You ever hear someone say how busy they are, all the time...and you know how hard it is to wipe that "really, you're THAT busy?" look off your face before they notice? I'd like to think I've had my share of busy with living in 3 metroplexes, 9 moves in 8 years, getting a Master's degree, being on medical rotations (i.e. having a new home every 4 weeks), getting/being married, family, etc. BUT, I also realize that I consciously choose my priorities. If I'm too busy for one thing, it's because I've chosen something else to do with my time. For a while, I was "too busy" for many things because I was planning my wedding, which was my priority then. I'm "busy" now because I choose to study for my impending board exams. I was "too busy" to update this very blog because school and sleep came first.  It just irks me and makes my skin crawl when I hear people tell me how busy they are, but that's all they say. Really, what keeps you so busy? I get it, we are all busy. But you have to take some responsibility (yes, that word that has been lost in translation in today's society...) for that and realize that you choose your priorities and where you want to spend your time first. I've realized that "busy" is really just an excuse meaning "whatever else just wasn't a priority." Whether it's being too busy for church, too busy to sleep, too busy for a vacation, too busy to catch up with or visit friends or family, too busy to lose weight, whatever it is... It also irks me when I talk to someone and ask what they have been up to, and the response I get is, "We've just been so busy!" Well really? You think that's why I called? Why don't you fill me in on what's been keeping you so busy? And if you can't answer that question...I guess you aren't as busy as you think you are. I know who has school, a family, interesting jobs, volunteering projects, etc...don't tell me how busy you are, tell me about the AWESOME things that keep you so damned busy. Because if you are choosing them over doing other things, they must be awesome, Right? I think if I ever have kids, the word "busy" will be on the bad word list and they won't be allowed to use it. It's a useless word that covers up what you really mean and helps you make excuses.
Disclaimer: I'm not perfect! I know I've used "busy" before, and yes, I've used it as an excuse before. I've even used it here on this blog! But I'm setting a goal for myself to stop using it, especially as a cop-out.

WHAT'S NEW? A LOT!

Hey guys! Long time, no see. I was reading my last post about graduating in August...well, it's August! And I graduate in 2 days! I'm excited beyond words! It's hard to believe it's actually here. Seems like just a few days ago we packed up our Euless apartment and headed to Galveston. I'll try to get some pics posted pretty quickly from the ceremony and from festivities down on the island. I have received just an outpouring of support and congratulations from family and friends, and for that I cannot thank you enough. This journey has been long and grueling, but it would have been just awful without the support from yall. Thank you for being there for me through the good, bad, and ugly! And trust me, there was definitely some ugly in there! lol
The past month has mainly been studying (A LOT of studying...) and a few trips down to the island for class, for a test, or to work on our research project. They've kept me surprisingly busy. I took a little time off to watch Aimee (my little sister) in a pep rally to show off what she learned at a week of cheer camp. Ryan and I also trekked out to see Sofi (a family friend) compete in a horse show. Aimee and Sofi are almost the same age, but one thing's for sure...they are growing up so fast! And they are beautiful, intelligent, talented girls. The world is absolutely at their fingertips! I'm very proud of both of them. Speaking of proud, I'm also very proud of Ryan! He got a new job! Now, I know what you're thinking...didn't he just get a new job when we moved up here in May? Well, yes. He took a job and really liked it at first. But it didn't quite work out the way we had hoped. I may be just a teeny bit biased, but my husband is an awesome golfer, he's hard-working, and he has terrific people skills that some of us only dream of having. And being promised a job that utilizes those aspects is perfect! Until you figure out they're not really going to utilize those gifts. I don't think that first job let him perform to his true abilities, and I think it held him back in the realms of business, golf (i.e. PGA stuff, playing, etc), and personally. He's been working really hard for over a year on a program through the PGA to become a "Class A" golf professional, but this first course didn't meet the necessary requirements for him to continue that program (now that he's about half-way through...). So when he got a call out of the blue from an application he submitted back in April/May from a prestigious, established course in Fort Worth, he went for it! He interviewed, and they just loved him (but who doesn't?!), and he got the job. He is so much happier with this place! It benefits him in every way possible and was most certainly the right move for us. I love seeing that smile on his face :)
So what else? My birthday came and went. I'm 26 now. Woo hoo. Can't you just feel my enthusiasm? In all actuality, it was low-key, which is just the way I like it, and perfect for this crazy year. My parents took us to BJ's (PIZOOKIE!) and we went with Ryan's parents to Uncle Julios. Ryan and I tried a new hibachi place that was delicious! So we got to spend some quality time with everyone and just relax and enjoy ourselves. What more could you ask for?
Have you ever been in a situation and just got the heebie-jeebies? I had one of those the other day. I was driving on the highway and noticed smoke. It looked like a house/apartment fire, and sure enough, it was. The eerie part was it was my and Ryan's old complex...the building next door to be exact! That was his first apartment in Arlington, right after we started dating. Maverick's first home. It's just weird to see it on fire. Now, our particular unit wasn't on fire. But you could stand back to watch the fire and see our unit in the same panoramic view. It made me so sad, but it also made me so happy that God moved us out of that complex a long time ago. I started to recall some of the sweetest memories there. Maverick playing in the yard outside, poor Ryan hobbling up those stairs after his surgery, me and Ryan just getting our footing as a couple. How many times did I park right here on the street and sit in that apartment with Ryan and Mav? How many times did Ryan walk me out to my car and kiss me goodnight, right here? Then, I realized how far we'd come in the 8 years we've been together. It was just this flood of emotion and the surreal feeling that we COULD have still been living there. Thank you, God, for taking such great care of us.
My cousin Alex and his girlfriend Victoria are expecting a baby girl (Alexis Jade) in September! We are so very happy for them. Mom and I had their baby shower at the house, and it was perfect! Lots of people, gifts, and yummy food. I think it's safe to say we all had a great time, and they got lots of gifts they'll be using before they know it. Everyone is just so happy for them, and we truly wish them the best. Congrats guys! Love ya.
Mom and I took a day after the shower to have a girls day...Chick-Fil-A, pedicures, shopping, and we even snuck in a margarita. Then we had dinner with Grandpa. Oh Grandpa, that man never ceases to amaze me...and he keeps me on my toes. I love him so much and really enjoyed getting to spend some time with him. Soon after that, Ryan and I took Aimee for an end-of summer day-of-fun! We had donuts for breakfast, spent FOUR hours at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History, had some lunch, then played board games back at the house. I just love getting to spend time with her like that. She's growing up way too fast-she'll be starting first grade in just a week!
See why we missed living here so much? But I'd have to say, moving away (twice...) and going without seeing family like this helped me and Ryan both realize where our priorities are and how much we WANT to live back here in DFW.
Ok, so I think those are the big updates. I'll get some pics posted soon. Have a great day!

OH, THE IRONY

It's ironic that now that I'm finished with clinicals and only in class one day a week...it's taken me nearly a month to update this thing :/ So what have I been doing?! I spent the first week trying to get settled in (again) as Ryan and I are officially back in the DFW area! Sooooo happy to be back here, but it's been a bit of work. The second week, I was helping mom and dad get new floors in the house (yes, I basically didn't do anything besides supervise, but still...), and there was the 4th of July holiday. This week, I've actually done some studying and worked on my Master's project. Plus, I'm finally getting to catch up with some friends around here. We still have the house in Houston, so there's also keeping up with that. Ryan has been wonderful enough to make the dreadful drive with me to Houston and back every week for my one class. That drive just drains us so terribly! So ya, it's been pretty quiet around here, and I'm very happy about that. We are looking forward to graduation in August, then it's time to hit the book in over-drive to study for boards (EEK!).

OH HAPPY DAY!

Wow, I can hardly believe it, but my very LAST day of rotations is here! This past year has been absolutely crazy, but it's been a fun kind of crazy for the most part. And to say it's been the learning experience of my life would be an understatement. Thank you so much to my awesome preceptors and to my family and friends for the support (and understanding during my "moments"...). Thanks to the patients for putting up with my inexperienced student ways! And congrats to my classmates for surviving "the gypsy year." This is a huge milestone in PA school...the next is graduation in August :).
Regarding my last rotation here in Pediatrics...I'm as surprised as you are, but I really liked it! I could actually work in pediatrics. It has the things I like about primary care, without the things I didn't like about primary care. Plus, I can kinda be a goofball :). The clinic I was in probably spoiled me with their laid-back attitudes and hands-on experience, but that's ok by me. If the situation was right, I'd go into either Pediatrics or OBGYN. We will see how it all plays out!

HI HO, HI HO, OFF TO NAC I GO

All right, well I've gotten settled in here in Nacogdoches, and even survived 2 weeks in Pediatrics. I know, believe it or not, me with children...it hasn't been as rough as I was expecting. Some of that probably has to do with my awesome preceptor and the great staff here. It's a little clinic with one doc, two nurses, an office manager, and a receptionist. They run quite the operation and we stay moving during the day, but the environment is super relaxed. My preceptor is fun and approachable, so that really eased a lot of my anxiety. But don't get me wrong, we do work around here and I've learned a lot! As for Nac and Lufkin...it's different here than what I'm used to, but that's not particularly a bad thing. The pace is slower, everything is on a smaller scale, and most of the people are really nice. The drives can be kinda pretty, too. The downsides here, I'm living in a hotel (i.e. not seeing my family/husband at all during the week) and driving the wheels off my poor little tank. I've got a few classmates in the area, so we hit the gym or have dinner together...anything to keep me sane! Can you imagine how lonely this would be for 6 weeks all by myself?! No thanks. I've also got some family here, a good friend from high school, and one of my best friends just up the road in Tyler. It's already flying by, and I can hardly believe this is my LAST rotation! And for those of you who have been asking, here is the rundown: rotations wrap up June 21, then I have one class in Galveston until graduation August 17. Yes, GRADUATION. There's a light at the end of the tunnel! Then I'll have a few wrap-up classes in Galveston through October 26. I'll probably take boards sometime in November, and start working...well...who knows when. We aren't there yet ;).
Ryan started a new job up in Keller! I am so happy for him! He started that the same day I started here in Nac, so we have both been adjusting. He really seems to be enjoying it. It's only 5 minutes away from the house, and the best part is that it's back in DFW. We had a goal of being back by the end of the year, and things are shaping up well so far :).
My little sister Aimee graduated Kindergarten! My goodness, she's growing up so fast. They had the cutest little graduation ceremony at school! She is doing so well and we are just so proud of her.
I'll try to get some pics up soon. Hope everyone had a fun, safe Memorial Day!!

BABIES!

Lol, no...it's probably not what you are thinking :).
First, I found a baby duck. I know, it was only a matter of time living this close to a pond with so many ducks and with said pond being on my jogging route (no coincidence there!). So I'm out for a usual afternoon jog and notice a group of people huddled around something. I thought they were harassing the ducks, and I was about to get mad. Turns out there was a tiny duckling in the grass. It had been abandoned (or someone dumped it). Poor thing could barely walk and was just shaking because he was so cold. I tried to put him with some other families, but they all ran away from him, and he couldn't follow :(. It was also odd that none of the other ducklings at the pond appeared to be his age. So of course, I took him home. I've had ducklings before, and knew he wouldn't survive the night as he was way too little, plus we had a storm/cold front moving in...there was no way he'd be ok. He was on the verge right then and there. So...as expected, he got fat, happy, and spoiled living here, just like the rest of the crazy family. We called him Goober because, well, it just fit. I made a place for him in the bathroom, and he was quite content. He hated to swim and loved to snuggle. He didn't even go to sleep without a towel to snuggle into. Heaven forbid I forgot his towel at night, he'd chirp and quack until I brought one in. As babies do, he just grew and grew, and outgrew our little habitat for him. It was also quite a task with 4 dogs and 2 cats that would have loved to take a closer look at him! I knew he'd gotten too big for us, plus, my mission was accomplished. He was well nourished and big enough to handle the weather. Now, it was time to find him a home where he could continue to grow. We took him to a wildlife refuge nearby, where they had lots of other ducklings. They said they would integrate him into a little group and let them grow up together. It was sad to see him go, but I know our bathroom isn't a proper duck habitat.
Second, my friend Layla's horse had her baby! The baby is a beautiful Friesian boy they named Otto. And he sure is a little spitfire! Absolutely stunning though. He is doing very well, and already getting into trouble and stealing big-kid food from mom! He will certainly be keeping the Barrington family on their toes. Plus, she has another mare due very soon! Yup, there will soon be 2 foals out there. I put foals on the same level as ducklings on the cuteness scale :).
And lastly, my OBGYN rotation is over. I really enjoyed this rotation all in all. The clinic was fantastic, as were my preceptors. In the end, I helped with delivering 15 babies, plus all the clinic business and procedures in between which kept me plenty of busy. I can definitely see doing this when I graduate. Now, on to pediatrics! Oh geez, wish me luck! But hey, it's my LAST rotation. Hard to believe it, but I graduate in August and take my boards in November. It's gone so quickly, but I can't wait to get back home to DFW!!!

CURVEBALLS 2 AND 3

I assume you read my post a few weeks ago titled "Curveball" regarding the unexpected passing of my grandmother. I guess things good and bad tend to come in three's, so here's the rest of the trio. #2-An aunt of mine (my mother's sister Kathy) passed away of a ruptured aortic aneurysm. My mother's family has a history of high blood pressure, and her grandmother had an aneurysm which never ruptured. My aunt also smoked. Regardless of these factors, nobody (including my aunt) knew she had the aneurysm, so needless to say, her passing was quite unexpected. Please keep our family in your prayers as we cope with yet another loss. #3-Ryan was laid off. This one was really a blessing in disguise as he quickly got another job where hopefully his talents can be utilized more. It's essentially the same position, but he should be able to teach more and really work with the club members more instead of manning a counter for most of the day. And the BEST part...it's back in Fort Worth instead of Houston! That means we are officially working on moving back! I cannot express how happy this makes me. We are so very excited about this.
Now, we also got some very good news from our vet regarding Mav. Late last year, I felt a mass along his ribcage. Being medical-minded, I decided to monitor the mass to see if it was growing, or if it just popped up and would stay the same size. Plus, I knew the first questions the vet would ask are: how long has it been there, is it growing, and is it painful to him. As it turns out, the mass was growing. It wasn't overnight, but I could tell a good difference each month when I measured it. We went to our primary vet here, who was not much help. His suggestion was: remove it or don't. Now, after having worked in oncology and having access to the medical technology I do, I know there are more options than that. I asked for a referral to a veterinary oncologist for a second opinion, and he flipped on me. I essentially bruised his ego, which rendered him useless now. So I attempted to get in with the best oncologist I could find, which proved to be about impossible. They wanted a referral, I couldn't get a referral out of my egotistical ex-vet and no other vet had seen the mass. Besides, I know more about the dog and his current condition than any vet we've ever seen does. And I don't mean that in a rude way, but we have moved around so much, that Mav hasn't seen the same vet more than twice. I have kept detailed records of his visits, can provide vaccination information, and have more info about this mass and its evolution than anyone cares to know. I worked through their referral requirement with my own means. Then, there was scheduling. They aren't open on weekends. They said they could get me in within the week, and couldn't. Any time I called for an appointment, she was either booked up or out of the office. They said they close at 5, but don't take new patients after 2...then it was no new patients after 1. Considering I'd have to leave work, drive 45 minutes home to get Mav, then drive 40 minutes to the vet...this begins to turn into an all day event. Plus, Ryan was reasonably apprehensive to take him in without me. So...we decided to pursue other options. I got a recommendation from my friend Stefanie on a good primary vet in the area. We went in on a Saturday. He examined Mav and even did a needle aspiration on-site with a cytological evaluation. All of this said and done, he was pretty comfortable that the mass was another lipoma (Mav has a few of these already), and we agreed on no further intervention at this time. I will monitor it and make sure Mav isn't inhibited or in pain, and we will just keep a close eye on it/him. That's probably the very best news we could have asked for. :)

WEEK ONE: A CONFESSION

The past week felt soooo long. We came back to town last Friday from Grandma's ceremony. I spent Saturday and Sunday attempting to study for my test that the school was kind enough to let me take on Monday. Problem was that I was still stressed with everything else going on (end of rotation, emotion about Grandma, stress of travel, impending Ayachi exam, new rotation to start...you get the picture), so apparently I maintained the attention span of a goldfish. I studied a lot, but I'm not sure it did much good. Monday came, I took my exam, then headed up to my new rotation in OB/GYN. With some decent hours, physical activity (delivering babies can be hard work!), and all the new info, the first week just really did me in. Thank goodness I had good Friday off! I was uber productive on Friday, then spent Saturday attempting to relax. So here's the confession part...I kinda think I love this OB/GYN business...mainly helping deliver babies! It combines the continuity of care and occasional "calmness" of primary care and internal medicine, the occasional spontaneity of ER, and some surgery. The atmosphere is generally light and happy, but of course there are serious times and hard parts, too. I don't know, I just feel right in this specialty. I also love the group I'm working with! So in short, week one was quite demanding on many fronts, but I love my new rotation :)

PICTURES!

As promised, here are some of the pics from Jason's birthday party in February...

Aren't we all cute?! This was the mob at our house before we went out.

ROOMIES! <3 I'm not sure why we were laughing so hard...
Me and the hubs
Part of the mob out on the town...can you say TROUBLE?!
Me and Heather
And remember how I told you we put Jason's birthday present in a pinata? Here's the proof and him in action attempting to open it :) Yes, we did this all indoors!

CURVEBALL

We got some unexpected, sad news this past Sunday. We found out that my Grandma Baileys passed away. Yes, she was suffering from dementia, but otherwise was in pretty good condition, especially for 87 years old. The nursing home said that she experienced respiratory distress/failure. A death in the family isn't easy though, whether it's expected or not. This also stirred up emotions since my Grandma Hill passed away just over a year ago. It got really difficult when I had to call the vet on Monday to cancel Mav's appointment with an oncologist because we will be out of town for Grandma's funeral. When Grandma Hill passed away, we were all sad, but also grateful that she wasn't suffering from the cancer any longer. I'm trying to see that side of my Grandma Baileys' passing, too, but it's proving to be more difficult. Please pray for me and for my family during this difficult time.

A MONTH, REALLY?

Ok, I realize it has been almost a month since I updated this...apparently time kinda got away from me. So here's the short version of what has happened in the last month, in no particular order:

1. I'm back in Houston! My Dallas rotation finished up at the end of February, and Goose, Tig, and I made it back home safely to Houston. We sure miss everyone, but are really happy to be back home. It makes me realize how much Ryan and I both want to move back when I finish school. But with Ryan having a really good job here, it just makes the decision difficult. Please pray that God will make the decision clear for us.

2. Ryan and I celebrated 8 years together! We stayed at the San Luis on Galveston island, got massages, walked on the beach, swam in the hotel's awesome pool, and even made a shopping trip to Murdoch's. It was low key, relaxing, and perfect.

3. I started a new rotation in Internal Medicine with a doc who is into alternative medicine. She has introduced me to medicines and techniques that I haven't been exposed to before, and I must say it can be quite interesting! She is wicked smart and works really hard; I enjoy her passion for what she does and for treating unique cases.

4. I snuck out and had fun...don't tell anyone! lol Ryan, Heather, Jason, and I went out to the rodeo one weekend and saw Luke Bryan in concert. He put on a fantastic show! I do love going to the rodeo :) Believe it or not, this was my and Ryan's first concert together.

5. I'm finally not sick anymore! 7 weeks later, it's about time! I had pharyngitis, and got a week of antibiotics. That didn't work, so they tried "supportive care" with cough suppressants, steroids, and numbing agents for my throat for about a week, and was still sick. Then I had bronchitis and got another 2 weeks of antibiotics. That seemed to work, but 2 days after finishing my antibiotics, I started having coughing fits again. That time, it was my asthma and allergies. So after about 2 weeks of keeping a tight grip on my asthma, I'm about back up to par. It feels good to breathe!

6. We have a busy week coming up. It's the end of my rotation, which is always packed full. I have a test with Dr Ayachi, and you never know what to expect with that guy. I also have a mentor meeting with the class of 2013 since they're about to leave on rotations. Then, Mav has an important vet visit on Thursday. Also, the Shell Houston Open is in town at the end of the week, so Ryan and I will be going to that at least once.

7. New rotation starts Monday and it's OB/GYN with the chief of staff at a big hospital around here. I'm a little anxious (per the usual), but really excited about this one! The idea of delivering babies makes me happy :) I know that sounds odd since I don't like kids. I'm considering working in OB/GYN when I graduate, so I hope this one goes well.

8. I got chased by a dog while out biking one day, and almost used my pepper spray on him. He tried to bite at my feet, so I kicked him. I guess he learned his lesson because he didn't come back. If he had, I was ready to go with my pepper spray! Don't mess with me! The cherry on top was that I (mind you, being color blind) was out looking for my little red tail light in the green grass :/ That fun event was followed up with some patient logging, as you know, my favorite activity (insert sarcasm). That day was a bit rough...

9. In case you hadn't noticed, spring is HERE! Sunny weather (perfect for running and biking), bluebonnets blooming, and more baby ducks at the pond! Daylight savings time is not my favorite event (losing an hour of sleep does NOT sit well with me), but I do enjoy that it's still sunny when I get off work. Bad news is that the mosquitoes are coming...ugh. I plan on enjoying the pretty weather and being outdoors while I can!

Well, I think that about does it! Hopefully it won't be another month before I get back here. I would love to post pics, but Heather still has custody of all the pics from Jason's bday part back in FEBRUARY and she has the pics from the rodeo/concert...so if you want pics posted, go annoy her :) LOVE YOU ROOMIE!

SO PROUD

Today, my Dad was ordained as a deacon! I've been raised in a Christian home, but my parents have had some trouble really finding a church home. If there was a youth group I liked, they weren't as happy. When they found a group and pastor they liked, I didn't like the youth group or didn't get much out of the services. Some churches were just too big and you got lost, some were too small with too many cliques. Ryan and I were blessed enough to find a church home in Colleyville shortly after being married. My parents found their church about a year ago and finally have a real church home that meets their needs and where they can serve and meet the needs of others. Mom teaches Sunday school and Aimee has really been doing well with the kids her age. Dad has served in a few other capacities at two different churches, but never as a deacon. The pastor and another deacon approached him, and it really took him by surprise. After prayerful consideration of the proposal and discussing it with all of us, he decided that he did feel called to say yes. He and mom have had to go through counseling and classes for a while, and today it was made official...Dad's a deacon! The Pastor did a really nice job with the ordination ceremony for Dad and 3 other members that had also been called to be deacons. Anson and his family and the Aylesworth family came to church with us for the ceremony and joined us for lunch afterwards-some good ole BBQ! Just a beautiful day :) So proud of you, Dad! But now the work is just beginning, so y'all please keep our family in your prayers.

CONGRATS!

Congratulations to my cousin Brian and his wife Whitney. Yesterday, they welcomed a baby girl named Addison to their family. I'm sure big brother Zane will be so excited!

Also, my cousin Alex and his girlfriend Victoria will be welcoming a baby this September.

Congratulations and best wishes to both families!

SICK. SICKER. AND STILL SICK.

Well, my rotation here in Dallas has been going well except that I've been awfully sick for just about all of it. If you'll recall, Ryan had strep throat just before I left to come here. About mid week my first week, I started feeling down...just tired and generally lousy. By that Thursday, I was running fever with lymph nodes swollen and a terribly painful sore throat. I was voted off the island at work and sent to the doctor, with the assumption I probably had strep, too. Well, the test was negative, but the doc gave me antibiotics and steroids because I was in really rough shape. Over the weekend, my sore throat migrated down to about my voice box, and I developed some awesome asthma trouble and a cough that just wouldn't let up. I was going through Robitussin, NyQuil, and cough drops like water and using my nebulizer and rescue inhaler about 3 times each day. When I couldn't swallow without grimacing, I decided it was time to head back to the doc. I left with another negative strep test, a steroid shot, another week's worth of steroid pills, meds for my asthma, prescription cough medicine, and some lidocaine for my throat. That night, I actually got some sleep! Some was better than the next to no sleep I'd been getting before. I expected improvement, but about 5 days later, I still am miserable. Improvement, yes, but certainly not nearly up to par yet. So I went back to the doc this morning. I left with a clear chest xray, another negative strep test, different antibiotics (for 2 weeks! yikes!), and a different prescription cough medicine. Here's hoping this finally clears up. With only one week left here, if this clears up, it looks like it will be just in time to head back home. I'll be very glad to feel better, but I wish I could have spent more time with family and friends while I was here. I still have this one week left, so hopefully I'll feel well enough to make the best out of it.

SURPRISE!

Jason, one of our roommates, turned 30 on Feb 4. His girlfriend Heather, our other roommate, threw him an awesome surprise birthday party. She's been planning this for months, and I'm really proud of us all for keeping our mouths shut. I really don't think he had a clue. She got a bunch of his friends to come into town from Corpus Christi and from Michigan. His parents and sister were sweet enough to come all the way from Michigan to be part of the surprise, too. Heather's mom even came to town for the big event. We had everyone at the house getting ready while Ryan took Jason out golfing...which almost got nixed due to rain. Poor Ryan, he did a great job. His entire job for the day was to keep Jason occupied until we gave him the OK to come back home, and I'll tell ya, that wasn't an easy task! So while they were out, Heather and I were running errands and getting the house ready with lots of help from some of Jason's and Heather's family and friends. When the boys got home, we had all the cars hidden and the guests hiding, too. Jason saw tons of decorations and me when he walked in...but that was it. He looked awfully confused! He took one more step, then everyone yelled "surprise!" and jumped out. He seemed to happy to see everyone! We had some yummy Tex-Mex for dinner, then hit downtown in a party bus...all Heather's ideas. It really all went off well, and everyone seemed to have a great time. His family stayed in town for a few days to see Galveston, NASA, and some other local stuff, but everyone else had to head back pretty quickly the next day. Thanks again to everyone who came out for making it such a success. Many thanks to Ryan for owning the most difficult job of the day, and huge props to Heather for pulling it all off! Fun times! I'll try to get some pictures posted when I get back home and can confiscate them from Heather.

UUGGGHHHHH!

Ok, that's about how I feel. My brain can barely form words right now. This week has been INSANE. On top of the usual days full of work at the hospitals, I have finished my 13-page paper over bone tumors and cysts, finished my rotation and got all the end-of-rotation business taken care of, finished a ridiculous amount of the world's most boring task-patient logging, healed a hubby with strep throat and I haven't caught it (yet), found a puppy then found her a home, dealt with a sick cat...and still have Roomie's 30th birthday on Saturday that I'd like to be awake for, then I have to pack/move/clean house on Sunday for a 4-week rotation 5 hours away. Yes, by the way, my and Ryan's 8-year anniversary is tomorrow. Sleep? I think not.

CARDIOLOGY. DONE.

I'll admit that I was super anxious headed into this rotation. Probably more anxious than any rotation except ER, that one was kinda scary too. But I can barely believe that it's actually my last week here! And I must say that I have quite enjoyed it. They have given me some great independence, which I enjoy, but this has also tested my knowledge and skills. I've had the joy of meeting lots of wonderful practitioners from various fields, and learning from them as well as my preceptors. My preceptors have all been fantastic to work with. They are kind, patient, and always available when I have a question or concern. The patients have been dynamic and each one presents to me a different set of circumstances to consider. I may not have learned as much about cardiology in particular as I might have if I had stayed in clinic all the time, but this rotation has taught me more about medicine in general, cardiology included, addressing a variety of disease processes, and has tested me as an independent provider. It has really been a great rotation and one that I am thankful I got placed on.

DUCKS!!!

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I just love ducks. They're so cute! When Ryan and I were first dating, he actually bought me 2 ducklings which we raised in my parents' back yard...probably not the best decision either of us have ever made, but we just loved them nonetheless. We have a siberian husky dog named Goose, so we actually had Duck, Duck, Goose :) Yup, I'm a total nerd and found that amusing for the entire time we had the ducks. Anyways, in our neighborhood now, there are a few ponds with lots of ducks! It's one of my favorite sites when I go jogging. I don't know, they just make me smile. I am bias towards two of them. They are always together, and they are about the most unique ducks I've ever seen. I call them Puff Duck and Dalmatian Duck. The white one has a little afro! Come on, tell me that doesn't make you smile!

With spring coming, there are also baby ducks at the pond! Oh, they're just adorable with their little yellow fuzz. One momma duck has about 7 babies with her right now.

Ok, that meets my cute duck quota for a little while...back to school stuff...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy birthday, Ryan! Ryan turned 29 on January 19. We celebrated on his birthday with dinner at Saltgrass, then the next night we went out with friends for Hibachi and drinks. We even had our first Sake bombs! We had a fantastic time, and thanks to Heather, Jason, Lindsay, and Lonnie for coming out with us. I wanted to get a picture of all of us out, partially to prove that yes, we PA students DO manage to get out every now and again to go have fun. But, we got distracted and never got a pic. :( I managed to get a picture of the food though! lol

This was Ryan's present from me. I felt like being mischievous, so I wrapped it in consecutive boxes with different kinds of wrapping paper. On the last layer, you can see princess, dancing birthday monkeys, and Christmas paper :). It was a very small box, about 2 X 4 X 4 inches, and the largest box here was for a rolling garage toolbox...many boxes in between! Oh, it was fun.

MATTERS OF THE HEART

Well, it's back to the grind now. No more vacay :( But that's okay, I had a fantastic month off and am very grateful to be rested and ready to go. First up for this year is cardiology. I was stressing about this rotation for a few reasons. First, the heart is one of my weaker subjects. There is so much to remember, and it all gets inter-twined. I'm hard of hearing, so hearing murmurs can be very difficult. Second, there are so many contributing factors that make this less of a action/reaction, direct effect, instant gratification specialty. I like to see a problem and fix it, which is harder in cardiology than it is in other specialties. Third, my next rotation will be vascular in nature, so this whole heart thing is going to be a big deal then, too, so I'd better be paying attention! And lastly, I've been on vacation for a month. Going from doing whatever I dang well please all day every day straight to keeping someone else's schedule and explaining my every move is not an easy transition.

With all that said, I have honestly really enjoyed my rotation so far. I wanted independence, and I got a big dose of it! I'm rounding on my own at the hospitals, so I see lots of patients with a variety of ailments. The best part is that while I'm mainly concerned about cardiology-related issues, I'm treating a whole patient and have to consider the whole picture, so it really keeps me interested. I can look up stuff I have questions on, and I can always call my preceptor with more questions or concerns.

This has been a whole new experience in another aspect-most of my patients are in ICU or long term care facilities. That means that their situations are very fragile and can literally change by the day. This is the first time I've ever had to convey that to a family. I don't think I've ever chosen my words so carefully. I also have to watch for the subtlest signs or changes in lab values each day. It has made me realize, again, how important it is for EVERY person to discuss with their loved ones what their wishes are if they become incapacitated. Please keep in mind that from my view, incapacitated doesn't always mean dying...it has a variety of implications, including severe dementia, dehabilitating infection, changes in psyche, and otherwise. And it's not always a permanent situation. It's important to discuss resuscitation, intubation, "life support," restraints, medications, etc...don't leave some subjects unbreached because it makes for an uncomfortable discussion. It breaks my heart to see families in distress over what their loved one would want in a time that already brings about such emotion. It breaks my heart even more to see families go into denial regarding very real situations, and watch them simply leave family members behind at the hospital. Would you want your family to leave you in a hospital bed for an undetermined amount of time and come visit once a month for 15 minutes because it makes THEM uncomfortable to think about it? It's never an easy conversation, but being in the heat of the moment won't make the decisions any easier or any more clear. I'm sorry to bum yall out on a beautiful Sunday morning, but this really weighs heavily on my heart today, and I saw it way too often in just one week. On a happier note, I also saw true love this week. I saw spouses come sit bedside all day, every day. They knew what their loved one wanted, and did everything possible to uphold that. They would read, make sure favorite TV shows were playing, talk, and even hold hands. And sometimes, I saw the patient respond to such love with a squeeze of the hand, a head nod, or even as subtle as blinking-once for no, twice for yes.

Realizing how fragile life as you know it can be, I think I learned from my patients that it's probably better if we all take it just one day at time, and never pass up an opportunity to show love or have meaningful conversation with our loved ones. Thank you, week one of an intimidating rotation, for teaching me such a valuable lesson.

CHRISTMAS 2011 PICS

My baking madness! Yes, I made this all in one day from scratch. We have: 2 batches of chex mix, a Texas cake, 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies, a dozen cinnamon rolls, 2 dozen sugar cookies (frosted and decorated), and about 4 dozen cake pops. Best news-I didn't hurt myself or catch anything on fire! Yay for no trips to the ER this year.

Ry, Me, Sue, and Tom at Gaylord ICE. The nativity scene was beyond gorgeous this year!
Aimee feeding the birds at the zoo. She asked for 2 hours while we looked at all the other animals on the way back to the aviary to feed the birds. This was the highlight of her day!
Aimee playing with the beautiful white tiger. She doesn't realize that he probably thinks she looks like lunch. Thank goodness for her naivity and all that plexiglass between them.
We got Aimee a Barbie makeup set for one of her Christmas gifts. She was so excited, she didn't even know what to do when she opened it. What you don't see is that shortly after this picture, nearly every bottle and brush was opened and being applied. Dad groaned when he saw this :/
Me and Aimee at Christmas Eve dinner
Mi Familia! I love this picture! On the back, we have my sister Brittany, my brother Jason and his wife Jennifer, my mom and dad, Ry and me; down front is my brother Anson and his wife Sonya with their two girls, Grandpa, and Aimee. This just reminds me how blessed we are :).
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!