LAUREN GOES TO CLINIC

I made it through Week 11! This week was mainly spent working on small assignments, studying for a Clin Med exam (which I didn't do too shabby on...), and preparing for my last taping-a complete medical interview. Rachel, Melanie, and I also decided to brave it and go to St Vincent's Clinic on Thursday and start seeing patients. I know that's exactly what we are here learning to do, but it's so intimidating! Thank goodness we had some experienced PA and Med students on hand to help show us the ropes. We each got to see 2 patients that evening. I can't even begin to put into words how rewarding it was. I've been through 11 weeks of some of the fastest learning I've ever been put through, I've been sleep deprived, and I've felt like a failure because I've made B's on tests, taken out more money on student loans than I thought was possible, and had some groundbreaking experiences in this short timeframe, but those 4 hours where I finally got to put it all to use and make a real difference in someone's life...priceless. I'm bombarded day in and day out with new material and was getting to the point where I was wondering if I was even absorbing any of it any longer. My motivation was starting to slip because I'm studying more than I've ever had to (or wanted to...) but I still am not getting the grades I'm used to getting. It seemed like a never ending battle to absorb it all, and it's only going to get tougher in these last few weeks. But going to clinic and putting it all to use made me realize a few things. First, I know SO much more than I thought I did! I was explaining stuff to 3rd and 4th year med students...there's a sense of pride and satisfaction that comes with that. But also, I really do know this stuff well if I can teach it to someone else. Second, it all becomes worth the while. I came here to learn how to diagnose and treat patients...spending days on end buried in textbooks, highlighters, and tests is not exactly the love of my life, but I saw that my hard work translated into being more equipped to diagnose and properly treat these real patients. Third, these people TRUST me! I put on my white coat, and they will believe what I tell them, so I HAVE to keep up with the books and material to make sure that what I'm saying is accurate and true. If they trust me, it's my duty to continue to give them good reason to trust me and to provide the best care that I can. And the last thing I learned at StV's...I CAN DO THIS! It totally renewed my confidence and restored some of my drive. We ended the night at the PA fundraiser at SKY bar and sushi, where we had an awesome turnout! But it is funny how you don't recognize people as well when they actually do their hair and makeup and get ready...haha! People also brought friends and significant others, so we all went through this period of confusion of "excuse me...I don't recognize you...you aren't in our class." It was funny, but we had a great time and it was a success! Then Friday, Ryan drove all the way to meet me and a few friends for lunch. Isn't he the best! But I'm afraid we may have scared him a little bit. He's used to my craziness and I'm used to the normal crazy at school, but I'm sure he's not used to my, Rachel's, and Lindsay's crazy all rolled up in one. We were actually pretty well-behaved, I thought. Eh, he'll get used to it. So ya, that was jam-packed Week 11! If I can make it through Week 12 with 3 big tests, I can finally rest just a little for Thanksgiving before finals start. Yall please keep praying for me!