MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Well, half of my clinicals are complete, finals are finished, Austin was great, and San Francisco was fabulous. What more could a girl ask for? How about a week back HOME. Home has a few meanings. Our house here in Houston could be home, any of the apartments we've rented could be home, my parents house can be home...but nothing is really home until we are all (me, Ry, Mav, Goose, and Tig) back in DFW with our family and friends. It was so good to be back home. We had 3 family Christmases, so we got to see almost everyone! We went back to our home church, and spent some good time with friends. Along with getting to catch up with everyone, we also got to eat at some of our very favorite restaurants. We even had time to go see ICE at the Gaylord Hotel and to take my little sister Aimee out for a whole day-we hit up the donut shop (a favorite of hers) and the zoo. We had a fantastic week and felt so blessed that we got to spend this time with everyone. We made it back home safely, and are looking forward to a low-key new years'. Will post pictures later!

SAN FRAN

Ryan and I have been married for almost 4 years now...and the only vacation (meaning more than one night, not going for school or business purposes, and going without friends or family) we have taken has been our honeymoon. That's sad. A vacay was long overdue. Here's what all we got into:

Sunday: Up at 4 AM for our flight...ugh. Flights went well and weren't even crowded. I have to tell you, we flew Frontier for the first time, and quite liked it. We got into SF at about 10 AM local time so we really had all day there. We got our rental car, which was interesting. We had reserved a full-size car because my 6-foot tall, built like a line-backer husband doesn't really fit well into what rental car companies consider mid-size or smaller. Apparently, with this particular company, full-size means old Lincoln Towncar or Mercury Grand Marquis. No offense here, but those vehicles aren't really age appropriate for us, so we ended up switching a few things around and getting a Ford Edge. It ended up being a great little car! We walked a lot more than we expected, but still used the car a good bit. Anyways...we had lunch at In N Out burgers and dinner at a local pizzeria. I wasn't terribly impressed with either. They were both good food and solid choices, but I'm not sure I'd particularly crave the food they served. While eating lunch, we were introduced to the street performers of SF by way of the man doing magic outside the window of In N Out...yikes, that was...peculiar. And of course, we HAD to visit Ghirardelli. Apparently, they make a dessert called "Hey Lauren, we made a dessert just for you," AKA a Mint Bliss. It's chocolate ice cream, mint chocolate chip ice cream, dark chocolate fudge, homemade whipped cream, and a dark chocolate Ghirardelli square atop it all...it was only missing a cherry on top, but that didn't stop me from just devouring it. And it was delicious. Every single last bite...YUM. Oh ya, I also tripped over a hobo. It was dark, I'm night-blind, and he (or she) was sleeping just around the corner covered in a tarp because it was raining. Sorry, there's just not a whole lot of hobo's where I live! I'm not used to this business!

Monday: We discovered that/got confused by Californians have like 5 different trash cans. There is regular trash, recycling, composting, etc. I wasn't keen on this. I like the idea, but it was just too much. Anyways, after breakfast and being confused by the ridiculous (literally 7) number of trashcans, we headed out for our tour of Alcatraz. It was pretty cool! Colder than we expected and WAY more walking than we anticipated, but we enjoyed getting to see everything. We required a nap after walking around there for 3 hours. I was upset by the crew on a small issue though...I approached the snack bar and requested a soft salted pretzel with a side of cheese. First, they don't have salted soft pretzels, only plain. OK then, can I please have a plain soft pretzel with a side of cheese. The guy asked me if I wanted a cheese pretzel...NO, you are not understanding the words coming out of my mouth. One plain soft pretzel and one side of nacho cheese...PLEASE. His response "I'm sorry, we can't do that." Excuse me, but don't you serve nachos? Yes. Then give me an order of nachos, hold the chips! It's called liquid cheese! And I want to dip my friggin soft pretzel in the liquid cheese! GEEZ! He said that they aren't allowed to do that. I about told him where to put the danged plain soft pretzel. Anyways, we had lunch at a local sports bar, which was surprisingly delicious! I was really impressed. Then we did some shopping and exploring Pier 39 and surrounding area...then we found it. We found the sourdough bread bakery, Boudin's. Boudin's + Ghirardelli = delicious, but bad for Lauren...very bad. All I got was a grilled cheese with tomato soup, but if it wasn't the absolute best grilled cheese and tomato soup I've EVER had...O.M.G. After that, there was no hope, goodnight all. Don't worry, we visited Ghirardelli today, too. We didn't eat anything (besides the samples), but we did go and buy stuff. Of course we did. What else do you expect?!

Tuesday: Tuesday was "explore the rest of SF" day. We spent the first 2 days around the pier and doing most anything within walking distance, so this day we actually left the area. We/I found the actual house used in the full-house episodes and visited the park where they filmed the show's intro. Full House was a large part of my growing-up (and even still when I can find it on TV...guilty pleasure), so this was a big part of my SF visit. We also found the infamous "painted ladies" houses. I feel mislead that I thought all of SF looked just like those houses and the one in Full House. Spoiler alert: it doesn't. Then we tried to follow the map for this "49-mile scenic drive." Problem being that the map didn't say where to start, so I started at one end of the trail on the map. Apparently we did the entire thing backwards, because we kept seeing signs for the trail in odd places, but it was never quite lining up with the way we were going. Oh well, we do things our own, unique way! We went through Golden Gate Park, got some pics of Golden Gate Bridge, drove on PCH, and I finally saw the ocean! Crazy that I'm 25 and hadn't seen either the Atlantic or Pacific ocean yet, but not anymore! We ended our own scenic drive by going down Lombard/Curvy street...now THAT was fun! lol We really had a great time out exploring. We went back to the hotel to drop the car off, then headed off to try out the Cable Cars and visit Union Square in continuing our "explore SF" day. We got lost in Chinatown. Yes, apparently I can get us lost in ANY city. We ended the day by riding the entire length of the cable car line while hanging off the car. I'm still not quite sure why this was so amusing, but it was ridiculously fun. Actually, we really ended the day with another round of dessert at Ghirardelli, but the riding hanging off the cable cars is what got us there.

Wednesday: We started off the day with breakfast at Boudin's. Great start. We walked around the pier and watched the Sea Lions. Those guys were so funny to watch! They act like dogs, and in particular, they reminded us of Maverick. Yup, I'm now convinced Mav is part Sea Lion. Then we had lunch at Boudin's. Then we bought bread at Boudin's. Did I mention that we visited Boudin's? Then it was back to the airport for us. We had a wonderful time, but it's always nice to come HOME. The last leg of our flight home was interesting. I actually got the call I've been worried about since I started PA school. Mid-flight, I hear the attendant come over the intercom and say "If there are any medical personnel on board, we need your assistance in the back of the air craft immediately, please." Well, that's me. Another girl had also gone back to help. It wasn't anything big or immediately life-threatening, so that's good. We took vital signs, then instructed the patient and flight crew on what to do until we landed and signs of deterioration to watch for. An ambulance was waiting when we landed, and everyone ended up being ok. As always, a little chaos. Never leave home without it.

It is SO good to be home now. How I missed all the fuzzy kids, Heather and Jason included :) Next stop: Christmas!!

SUCCESS!

All right folks, I have officially completed all of my didactic year at PA school and half of my clinical year! What a whirlwind it has been, and oh goodness, I've worked hard but had a great time. I'm sure it could go unsaid, but I've also learned quite a bit :) Not just academic-type stuff though...I've learned more about myself during this experience than I thought I would. It has truly been eye opening and has strengthened me individually and in my relationships.

As planned, I headed out straight from finals to Austin for a 24-hour visit. I had dinner with Andrew and Kelly, which was long overdue. It was just perfect! Including Kelly spilling Andrew's drink into his lap. Absolutely love getting to catch up with them. The next morning, Kelly and I had some quality time at Chick Fil A and Target :) Then, I headed out to Concordia's new campus for a visit. I hadn't seen the new campus yet, as I was the last class to graduate from the downtown campus. It's just gorgeous out there! Catching up with my professors was great! They are all doing well and growing right along with the school. I couldn't have asked for a better trip.

I got back home on Friday, just in time to unpack and repack for SAN FRANCISCO!! So in 4 days (Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday), I was in: Houston, Galveston, Houston, Austin, Houston, Denver, and San Francisco. SF will require a whole new post...we just had too much fun!

PICTURES!

He was tired from all the Thanksgiving activities...a true fan, with jersey, cheesehead, and blanket :)

Even the pups and Tig were worn out!

Hibachi night!

Aimee, Mom, and Dad at Hibachi

Me, Heather, and Jason causing trouble in the kitchen

Horseshoes is a serious sport around here

Well, kinda. Nothing is really all too serious with this one

Heather's after-dinner activity of choice...riding Aimee's scooter in the house while the dog chases her. Notice my mom cracking up laughing-it's not her house, it's not her child, it's not her dog=it's not her problem, lol

Roomies! And yes, Heather, I picked this one just for you. Heather is absolutely gorgeous, but chooses to make faces like this. She said our eyes were closed in other pictures, but my guess is that she just didn't like the way they turned out. She didn't know I had this little hidden gem.

Aimee and Rhyder

Ryan is trying hard to convert Miss Priss into a Packers fan

Me with Daddy-O. We were actually sneaking food and almost got caught.

He makes me sad sometimes. But then again, I'm glad this is his addiction and that it makes him so happy. Come on...look at that grin.

Turkey is done! No explosions, nothing got burned, nobody got hurt. Success.

Mi Familia

A LITTLE CHAOS

We always have a little chaos around here-things would be boring if we didn't! So the week before last was spent on last-minute arrangements for Thanksgiving. Food, finishing decorating the house, and never-ending errands. My parents came to town Wednesday, we had everyone here on Thursday, and Friday was a recovery day. The weekend was dedicated to wrapping up some school work...and a little more recovery from Thanksgiving. Last week, I finished my 13-page paper on gallstones, in addition to my presentation on stroke, and finished my book on oncology from MD Anderson. Monday was rough going back to work-that alarm came WAY too early. Tuesday, Heather got into a car wreck. A 5-car pileup to be specific. She is ok, but having to deal with repairs and insurance. We decided Christmas tree shopping that night would cheer her up. Did you know that palm trees are 75% off at the Christmas tree store? Lauren likes 75% off palm trees :) Wednesday, Heather had a small mental breakdown/impulse buy that I'm attributing to stress from her car wreck and our impending exams, and she brought home a puppy. A little 8-week old yellow lab/Australian shepherd mix. She's adorable, but a puppy nonetheless and keeping us all on our toes. The dogs are slowly getting used to her, and we still have yet to name her. Jason left on Thursday for work and won't be home until Sunday. Today, I've spent running around like a crazy person, but feel like I've gotten nothing accomplished :/ Tomorrow begins the 4-day stretch of cramming for my 3 exams coming up this week (not that it will do me much good as they are basically comprehensive from all of PA school), then I leave for Austin straight from my tests for basically a 24-hour visit. Like they say, I've got places to go and people to see, I can sleep some other time! I'm blessed to know that God thinks I can handle this much :)

GOOD FOOD, GREAT COMPANY

Wow, it's hard to believe that it is already that time of year again. This year has just flown by! And what a crazy year it has been! I am looking forward to sharing the holidays with family this year, and hoping the holidays will be a little easier on us all. Last year about this time is when my Mom's mom (Grandma Hill) passed away from progressing breast cancer. We will always remember her this time of year especially. It's comforting to know she is always with us still, but I'm looking forward to sharing the great memories of her this year instead of the pain we were all going through this time last year.

Thanksgiving was a little more traditional this year than it was last. Last year, I was WAY bogged down with school, so Ryan and I boycotted cooking and went to dinner hosted Moody Gardens. I know...thanksgiving just the two of us and no cooking. See, a bit untraditional! This year, my parents came down with Aimee since I was working again, and we all cooked a nice, big meal here at our house with our roommates. It was perfect! We had awesome food (mainly cooked by Heather...before she broke the disposal. But it's ok, Dad fixed it), the best company anyone could ask for, and the Packers played the Lions that day and won! It was really nice to have a more traditional Thanksgiving with people we love so much. We even squeaked in a little Hibachi on Wednesday :) We all spent Friday recovering and ate leftovers for about a week.

So ER is finally finished. Nights were as difficult as I expected, especially with the rest of our goings-on with Cheeto. This has been the first rotation where I was really looking forward to the end, which I hate to say because every rotation is supposed to have it's good and not-so-good sides, but this one was rough. Note to self: ER full time is not a good option for Lauren.

On a happier note, I am absolutely LOVING orthopedic oncology and surgery. This rotation has been my favorite so far. There is some continuity of care, which we all know I like, but the patients aren't generally needy. They may require more attention because of the unique circumstances at hand, but their attitudes are just so different than in any other field. I get some clinic time, lots of surgery time, and even a little admin time built in. Every patient I see has a unique condition requiring precise, personalized care. All in all, it's a little primary care (continuity of care), a little general surgery (getting to close wounds, excising masses for biopsy), a little oncology, and a little carpentry (essentially building new bones and joints for patients when theirs fail). It's a bit of a boy's sport, as orthopedics generally is, but I've never had a problem with that environment. I actually tend to work better because there are fewer girls, which means it's usually less dramatic and involved. We work hard and work efficiently...no fluff. But they also don't have a problem having a little fun every now and again. This is definitely a field I'll be strongly considering when I graduate.

Also, I was discussing this with one of the working PAs there-she was reminding me that finding a good doctor to work with is a lot like dating. You have to get along-on good days and on bad days. You have to be able to communicate well. You have to work well as a team and be able to back each other up. You just have to mesh well. A bad boss, or one you just don't see eye-to-eye with, can ruin your morale, even if you are doing work you love. Something to consider as I get closer to graduation and start interviewing for jobs. Yup, that's just around the corner, too! :)

HIS TIMING, NOT OURS

This post will probably be different than posts you’re used to on here. It will be long, and you’ll have to excuse me as I cry my eyes out while I write. This is a story about timing, timing I don’t understand right now…and about an adorable little orange puffball of a kitten that blessed our family for 11 days.

Looking back, it all started a little over a month ago one morning at church. Ryan and I listened to a sermon about others’ needs, generosity, and the ability to give. It definitely hit our hearts, and we agreed that we needed to make sure we were keeping our eyes open for when others are in need where we can help. We also needed to make sure we reserved some of our selves (our time, our money, our abilities) for when someone else needed us. Little did we know that God would be calling on us to help someone very soon. I went to work later that week, and was struck to find a little grey kitten at my car when I went out to grab my surgery goggles and scrub cap. She was wet and hungry. I called Ryan and asked if he would mind if I brought her home after my surgery that afternoon, and we agreed that her need was one we could help with. I had to go into surgery, and when I came back out to look for her, she was no longer there. My hope is that someone else took her home and cared for her. I went along my way knowing that although I couldn’t give her the care she needed, our hearts were in the right place for wanting to.

About two weeks later, my mom called me with terrible news. As I mentioned in a previous post, my cat back home was viciously attacked and killed by some stray dogs. Our hearts were so heavy knowing what a tragedy it was, and that my mom had to handle the situation while I was away and my dad was out of town for work. After a 12-hour shift in the ER and that news, I was absolutely drained; I can’t even imagine how my mom must have felt. She is so strong, but this situation was more than anyone should ever have to endure.

That evening, Ryan was leaving for work and found a little orange kitten looking for a warm, safe place to sleep out under his truck. He knew the kitten was too young to be away from mom, nonetheless with a wet, cold night ahead. Much like I did before, he called and gave me a heads up on the situation. We agreed that he should bring the kitten home, because we honestly didn’t think he would survive the night outside alone. He brought home this tiny (3/4 of a pound), screaming, hungry, and scared puffball of a kitten. We had to start nursing him with milk because he was just so small. We went to the vet the next morning for a once-over and got the okay from the vet. He may be small, but he was healthy. On hearing the good news, we settled on the name Cheeto. He spent the next week growing…growing in size, growing in ability, and growing in confidence. He could now run with some sort of coordination (i.e. without falling over), he started eating softened kitten food, and he was learning how to play and have fun. The dogs responded quite well to him. Maverick took ownership of him and was always looking out for him. Goosey tolerated him. Even Tigger was interested in him and would check up on him periodically. It was now a morning routine to enter the bathroom and he would run up to you with his little tail sticking straight up as he cried for us to pick him up, pet him for a minute, then feed him. He was definitely growing. His feet turned into little clubs, his legs sprouted, and he was even getting a full belly. We were so happy to have this new, unexpected addition to our family. We were filled with joy just watching him and loving him.

One Saturday morning, I took him out of the bathroom to let him come out and play. He would jump around the bed attacking the covers, chase the dogs, and try to copy the things Tigger did. After a tiring morning of playing, he curled up next to me on the bed and took a nap. I just enjoyed laying in bed on a lazy day, feeling the warm sun, and listening to him pur. He woke back up around lunch and wanted on the ground to play with the dogs. He was using Goosey as a jungle gym…just climbing all over her. She was so patient and understanding, and just let him for a while. They must have been 5 feet from me at the foot of the bed, she was still lying down and I could see him playing by her when I heard her make a strange noise. I looked down, and saw him walking away from her. Then, he stopped and let out a gut-wrenching meow/crying noise and sat down. I went to pick him up to see what was going on, and noticed his eyes couldn’t focus. He couldn’t walk, he couldn’t see, and his little legs just started flailing. I ran out to the living room and cried to my roommate for help. We put Cheeto on the ground, and his condition was obviously worsening, so I wrapped him up in a towel and was headed straight to the vet. He was acting so bizaar, this was absolutely not the kitten I knew. At the traffic light just before the vet, he stopped flailing about, and came to peace. He passed away in my arms at that moment. Ryan was at work and had to meet me at the vet so we could say our good-byes. We were taken completely by surprise, and beyond heartbroken. This is one of the most tragic situations I have ever known. I’m in the medical field and deal with medical emergencies routinely, I have experienced the death of a person before, but this melted me down to a crying mess of nonsense. I asked the vet what could have happened, and the short answer is that we don’t know. He said it could have been a seizure, a stroke, a bleed in his brain, he could have hit his little head on something, or one of about a million other possibilities. He had no signs of trauma and passed within about 30 minutes of showing any signs that something was wrong.

It was so hard to leave the vet without our sweet little kitten. We instead had this sadness, this emptiness. When we came home, the other animals knew that something had gone terribly wrong; they were very solemn and kept trying to go into the bathroom to look for him. The look they gave us as we picked up his things was absolutely heart-wrenching and Goosey kept sitting with her back to us. I was back working the ER that evening doing my best not to melt back down to a crying mess of nonsense while Ryan was at home attempting to work on things through the night to keep his mind away from the situation at hand. The next few days were unspeakably difficult and I can’t say that either of us handled the situation particularly well, but I guess that’s to be expected. I want to make sure to thank Ryan for being my rock and stronghold during this. He has been comforting and supportive, and I am so thankful for him. We both still feel an emptiness, but each day is slightly more bearable, and I know our God will see us through this and give us the comfort and peace we so desperately need right now. We have to understand that this was not our timing but His, and maybe the reasoning just isn’t for us to know right now. We also have to be confident that we followed God’s will in fulfilling Cheeto’s need at that time. If it weren’t for us, he probably would have died alone, cold, and hungry that night at the golf course at the ripe age of 4 weeks old. Because of us, he had a warm home full of love for 11 days, but to him, he had a warm home full of love for his entire life. We are so blessed to have had him, if even for such a short time. Though it hurts right now, I pray that we won’t harden our hearts to love in fear of hurting so badly again. I’m thankful for our loving family and that we were able to serve God’s will, and I pray for strength, for comfort, and for peace during this time of grieving and sorrow.

Thank you for listening to the story of our little CheetoPuff. I admit that writing this was probably more therapeutic for me than it was for you. He will be so missed. Please remember to keep your hearts open for when someone needs you to be a blessing to them. We will always remember the love we experienced and blessing to us in fulfilling his need.