NOT GONNA LIE...

I'm not even going to try to sugar coat this one-this week was pretty rough. The main thing school-wise was my Patho test. Yup, the first test of the semester was Patho, so I guess that just set the tone for the week. To add to it, I was stressing big-time over this test, and I still am not quite sure why. I've had this professor for this class last semester (this semester is just a continuation), so I knew what to expect. Then again, I always expect hard tests and curveballs with this professor. Maybe I was so stressed because I knew that I didn't have any excuse not to do well. Last semester I could have picked one of may excuses: I'm so overwhelmed I didn't have time to study as much as I could have, I didn't know what to expect, I'm still not sure how to study for this class, etc. But this semester, the blame was entirely on me if I couldn't get the grade I wanted. It didn't help that while Ryan was out of town, the dogs were apparently finding ways to make my life harder. This is a little snapshot of how my week was: So I'm studying for my Patho test on Tuesday, the day before the exam (so you can imagine my stress level...). I'm frustrated that I've been studying for this thing for a week and I still can't retain what I should be able to retain. Study, study, study, then my printer runs out of ink. The night before the test-when I need it most. So it's like 10 til 9 PM and the office supply place closes at 9. I cross my fingers and haul my little tail up there as quickly as I can. They don't have the less expensive, only black ink cartridge. I got to pay almost $50 for the stupid combo black/color combo cartridge. Whatever, at least I made it in time and they had something that would work. I get home (mind you, I've been gone 15 minutes), and the dogs have rummaged my backpack. The big dog is hiding in the closet because he knows he's in trouble and the little dog is having a spaz-attack in the living room because she got caught in the act. I'm seriously afraid she's going to start peeing everywhere because she's scared. They managed to spare my laptop and cords, books, and notes...they got a hold of the colorful stuff (i.e. pens, highlighters, plastic sandwich holder, etc.). And I've found the culprit...my pretty little white dog has the evidence all over her no-longer pristine paws. So I have to take care of this situation. Now I'm so wound up that it's hard to sit still and study for this test I don't even want to be studying for any more!! Arg. So I manage to study until about midnight, then put it away realizing it's just not getting any better. I try to go to sleep...I manage to fall asleep for like 0.2 seconds and have a bad dream. Ryan's out of town and the pups are passed out sleeping which leaves me by my lonesome, so you can imagine I couldn't go back to sleep. I must have been up til 3 AM or so, and my alarm is SUPPOSED to go off at 5:30. Yup, supposed to. But it didn't. And nobody was around as a secondary alarm. I wanted to leave the apartment that morning by 6:45 since my test was that morning, and I woke up to a beautiful sunrise around 7 AM. Freaking awesome. My classmates are lucky I managed to put on pants before I left in my frenzy. So now I haven't had time to review my notes one last time, I'm panicked, I'm pretty much mad at the world, and I'm sleep deprived...these only escalate my stress factor because I don't know how I can possibly do well on an exam under these conditions. Shoot me now, please. So that's fun, huh? My anxiety-fest continues because we couldn't get our grades that day because the grading machine for our tests was broken. Again, no sleep because I'm fretting. It was all okay in the end, as it always is. I even managed to get a higher grade on this exam than any Patho exam last semester. I've calmed down now and started studying for my next exam...Pharmacology. Not looking forward to this one, and I've never had this professor before, so I have almost no clue what to expect. I'll keep you posted...I'm just hoping this week runs a little smoother than last...

WEEK 3: CHECK!

Well Week 3 just flew by! My goodness! But I do have to say that it was a great week. We started Monday with Ryan getting a job, which I already posted about, and a bonus day off school. Wednesday was Ryan's birthday. I got him one of those coffee machines that also makes lattes, cappuccinos, espresso, etc. as part of his congratulations on the new job/happy birthday present along with a giant gift bag of various sources of caffeine to try. He has been trying different ones each day-I never know what to expect when I get home from school, lol! Some days he has had espresso, some days just hot chocolate. Friday, that translated to the house being thoroughly cleaned and the dogs walked. :) Happy Friday to me! Thursday, I didn't get to go to clinic, so that was a bummer. I've spent the weekend getting reacquainted with my Pathophysiology book in preparation for our test on Wednesday. I have a love/hate relationship with that book. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I think I'm going to try a new yoga place this week! That should be interesting. I've been running more lately, so I figured this would be a nice balance. I have access to a nice gym at school, but that's just not terribly appealing to me right now. So that's what this week holds: a test, some yoga, and clinic. We also get to go to some of the facilities where we will be seeing patients later this semester. How exciting! So 3 weeks down, and I'm still going strong and loving what I'm doing. :) So blessed!

FANTASTIC NEWS!

You have no idea how long I've been waiting to get to share news like this with you all...after being laid off in the recession about 2 years ago, Ryan has finally been offered a full-time job! He is now an Assistant Golf Professional at Clear Creek Golf Club in Houston. Perfect for my little golfer, huh? I can't tell you how many hours on end he has spent doing job searches, submitting resumes, and going on interviews. God was holding out for the best job for him and for our family. We are just ecstatic! It has been a rough few years, but God has taken care of us and taught us many lessons along the way (especially in the areas of patience and trust). We have had ups and downs, but He has seen us through it all. God is so good! Thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers, and support. I am so happy for and proud of my sweetheart! YAY!!!

I'M CONFUSED

The good news is that I have Week 2 under my belt, yay! You just have to take it one day at a time and be grateful for the little victories. It was a pretty good week-a few writing assignments, some research stuff, a Surgical Society meeting, and I got to go to clinic again and see patients. I even got to go out on Friday night like a big kid! Ryan and I went on a dinner date, then we met up with some friends on the island for drinks. We had a really good time getting to relax! So ya, I'd say it was a pretty solid week and that I was quite productive. Despite all this wonderful-ness, I've been left a bit bewildered about something, and this may sound odd, but I'll explain...I'm not drowning yet! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm definitely busy and somewhat overwhelmed, but I'm not ridiculously, stupidly, beyond overwhelmed like I was last semester. EKG's and I are still learning how to communicate, and I'm still developing my relationship with Pharmacology, but I actually feel like I have a leg to stand on whereas last semester I was just lost, trying to stumble my way through all the darkness and chaos. So you are probably thinking, "Lauren, you are a nutcase, why is this a problem?" The answer is that I don't know what to expect, so I have absolutely no idea how to handle this. Should I just sit back and enjoy the calm? Is it the calm before some storm I'm totally unaware of? Do I use the time to start preparing for boards? Do I need to be spending 3 days every week going to see patients? Am I missing something that I need to be studying? If they're going to dump a whole ton of work on me again, can we please go ahead and do that so I can begin digging my way out!? I feel like a sitting duck!!! I can handle chaos, but I apparently I can't handle this. :/ Now, please don't misconstrue this as complaining; I would so much rather have this problem than any of the many other problems I could be facing right now. And I rather enjoy not having a laundry list of 5 billion things I HAVE to do before Monday. This "learning how to deal with not being sleep-deprived" thing is just a class I wasn't expecting this semester. I have used my new-found time to: SLEEP, get ahead on some writing assignments, exercise, see patients, and spend some quality time with the hubster (in case you don't speak "Lauren," hubster=hubby=husband). And don't tell my professors, but I've even watched that big black box in the living room...Ryan calls it a TV. Ooohhh, Aaahhh. I have to admit, I could kinda get used to this "relative normalcy" thing. And on that note, I'm going to go find something to do...it's 11 Am on a Saturday and I'm bored. Next week's assignments: check; clean apartment: check; balance finances: check; call mom: check. Maybe I'll go brush the dogs or wash my car or something. Tomorrow is dedicated to studying and going to the grocery store, so we can go ahead and check those off, too. And Monday is a holiday, so that will be some built-in extra study time. See what I mean? I have no idea how to handle this...

MORE THAN WORDS CAN EVER EXPRESS

So you may or may not know that on December 14, 2010 at about 10:30 PM, we lost my beloved Grandmother, Phyllis Hill, after 2 year battle with breast cancer. She fought a grueling battle, she led an extraordinary life, and was an amazing woman. She will be missed more than words can ever express. The things she did, the way she thought, and lessons she taught me are forever with me and will always influence my thoughts and actions. Here are a few things about my lovely Grandma:

The Obituary:

Phyllis Annette Megerle Hill, 79, of Arlington went to be with her Lord, Jesus Christ, on Tuesday, Dec. 14, 2010, after a lengthy illness. Memorial service: pending. Phyllis was born Sept. 14, 1931, in Corpus Christi. She graduated from Incarnate Word Academy in 1949. She was a wonderful and devoted wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. She was preceded in death by a daughter, Janet, and one grandson, Richard. Survivors: Her devoted husband of 42 years, Billy T. Hill; twin sister, Patricia Megerle Booth; 10 loving children; 26 grandchildren; and 26 great-grandchildren.

The Eulogy, delivered by my cousin Alex:

My grandmother, Phyllis Annette Hill was born on September 14, 1931 in Corpus Christi, TX. She had one sibling, her twin sister Patricia. Grandma graduated from Incarnate Word Academy in Corpus Christi in 1949, and she was homecoming queen her senior year in High School. Grandma was married to her loving husband Billy T. Hill for 42 years. Together, they had a wonderful family of 11 children, 26 grandchildren and 26 great grandchildren.

Grandma had a lot of friends and she always enjoyed being around them, but she had a special place in her heart for her two dogs Jack and Missy. Her friends always told her that they couldn’t believe that her teeth were still real because they were so white and so straight! She loved to sit and talk with people, and she could talk for hours about anything! She always had the nicest things to say. She was very close to her twin sister, whom she spoke with twice a day. Grandma always loved family gatherings and enjoyed the preparation of having the family all come over and discuss the plans for the Thanksgiving big meal. Her family and friends always loved her cooking.

She was a loving, compassionate, and strong woman, a devoted wife and mother, and she always had her heart open to the people coming in an out of her life. She found joy in so many things. Grandma really enjoyed traveling. Any time anyone mentioned they were ready to go out of town, she was the first person to have her bags packed and be ready to go. She loved to collect salt and pepper shakers and angels, but Grandpa loved to collect clocks, and after many years of collecting, they had to stop to it when they ran out of room to put them! Grandma enjoyed reading, love stories and mysteries in particular. And in her younger days, she loved to dance. She had recently developed a taste for Simply Lemonade. It was a very specific craving, and no other brand would do. We had quite a time trying to keep it in stock for her!

Phyllis Hill was one of the best people that you could ever hope to meet, she was loving and caring and thoughtful. She was the best mother, grandmother and great grandmother that anybody could ever ask for. She will be missed by all of her family and friends and lovingly remembered with every little thing that we do. Every one loves you and misses you, Grandma!

God bless that you are in a better place now with your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

And a Poem for Grandma:

God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be,

So He put His arms around you and whispered, "Come to me."

With tearful eyes we watched and saw you pass away,

Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest.

God broke our hearts and proved to us that He only takes the best.

How About Another Poem (at her memorial service):

I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one.

I'd like to leave an after glow of smiles when life is done.

I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,

Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.

I'd like the tears of those who grieve

To dry before the sun of happy memories that I leave.

When life is done.

And a few pictures...

Love you Grandma, more than words can ever express.

A GREAT START

So Week 1=success! Got most of my books without having a heart attack at the bookstore, got my student loans situated without any hiccups and/or being 2 weeks late, and even had time to get a massage! The cherry on top...we only had 2 days of class this week. This all makes me happy. So last time, I told yall that this semester is 2 weeks shorter, which was nice. But I found another little golden nugget of happiness-last semester we had something like 24 tests...this semester we only have 15. Now, granted, a few of the tests are worth a larger part of our grades, so that doesn't leave as much wiggle room. But this semester, the program seems to have a greater focus on written work, not just tests. I enjoy writing so this is a serious benefit to me! There is also a stronger focus on actually seeing patients, which is pretty much what the whole program is geared towards...so that's bueno, too. In short, this semester (and pretty much 2011 thus far...) is off to a very nice start. Plus, I've been able to pick up running again. That kinda got dropped in the chaos that was the first semester, so it's nice to get back into it. I count my blessings every day and know that I'm so blessed to be here doing what I'm doing with all these wonderful people! While I know that stress and challenge help build character and help me learn, it's also kinda nice to just have things go smoothly every once in a while. :)

CHEERS TO 2011

Happy new year everyone! Wow, it's so hard to believe that 2010 is really over...I guess we've been pretty busy and it just flew by. 2010 definitely had its ups and downs, but I think it all evened out in the end. We had a wonderful holiday season and hope you and your family did, too. Cheers to 2011 being a great year! Ryan and I rang in the new year with Lindsay and Lonnie, some delicious Mexican food (and margaritas), and Wii bowling and golf tournaments. It was low-key and relaxing, but we still had a blast! The coming of the new year means that it's back to the grind. School starts up for me on Wednesday (which I'm actually looking forward to!) and Ryan has already headed back to work. I have my first test at school in one week! EEK! This semester will be shorter by about 2 weeks, but that doesn't mean that there will be any less material to cover, so it's only going to go that much faster! I only have 60 days of class this semester, whereas I had 71 last semester. Plus, I hear that there will be a bit more patient contact this semester, which I'm certainly looking forward to. WOO SAA...time to buckle down yet again and show this program what I'm made of. Just like last semester, I'm sure this one will fly by and be over before I know it. One day at a time, right?